Nothing makes my heart happier than to think about being back at my home in Zambia. It's been a year and a half since I was there, and I never thought I'd be there again. When I said bye to my friends and babies there, I figured the next time I saw them would be in heaven. And I was excited about that. I had learned to open my heart and love people even though I was going to leave them. I had learned to find joy in the fact that I could say bye and know that we'd all be reunited one day.
But now I get to go and see them again. I get to be reunited early with people that I grew to love so much! I feel so blessed. I have thought and prayed about this trip so so much, and now that it's actually here my heart is overwhelmed. When everything fell into place and I knew I was going back for sure, I started questioning it all. Why me? Why do I get to go back? I'm not worthy enough for this calling. I'm not the person God wants to be over there to carry out his work. What if I'm going for the wrong reasons? What if I don't do my best while I'm there?...All of these crazy thoughts and questions were going through my mind. I was questioning who I was. I was questioning the faith that God has in me. I was questioning my ability to fulfill God's calling for my life. But God stopped me, held my face in his hands, and said "Trust in me. I want you there. I need you there. You, my daughter, are worthy of this calling." He assured me that I can do this. In fact, he WANTS me to do this. God believes in ME. And although I still can't quite grasp that, I have faith. I have faith in God who knows my passions and knows where my heart lies. I have faith in a God who knows my weaknesses and believes in me anyways. I have faith in a God whose plans for my life are bigger than my own. And I have faith in a God who calls little, unequipped me to big tasks.
So as I head to Zambia for a second time, I believe in the work my Father is calling me to. I know it will bring challenges and I know there will be times when I'll fail. But I know I'll succeed if the Lord is on my side. I'm only worthy because of Him. I'm only able to carry out these tasks because he equips me.
I am so excited about this opportunity and so so grateful to those who have helped make this possible. I couldn't have done it without yalls emotional, spiritual, and financial support. And I ask that yall continue to support me throughout my trip. God puts you in my life for a reason, I cant do it without yall.
With that being said...Cathy was my baby that I spent every day with when I was there. She was 3 weeks old when I first saw her. When I left Zambia, she was 4 months. When I see her in a month, she will be almost 2 years old!! I cant imagine the moment I'm reunited with her. I know she wont remember me, but my heart will never be so full as it will be in that moment! I loved her from the day I met her, I prayed and cried to God over her when she was frail and sick, I rejoiced and laughed and cried when she was healed, and I celebrated with her when she smiled and laughed and cried for the first time. I watched her grow up, and the time cant come quick enough when I can pick her up and hug her again!
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| Cathy at 3 months |
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| My precious little girl now! |
Look at how much she's grown! I cant wait to spend 7 weeks loving this sweet little thing again!
And since I've been thinking about my upcoming trip and reminiscing on my old trip, watch this video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HP5SsKnza0A&feature=autoplay&list=HL1332334397&lf=mh_lolz&playnext=1
