Haven 3

So my first full week working at the Havens is over. At Namwianga there are 3 Havens, and we have 4 interns. So Meagan decided to split us up and have us try one specific haven/job each week. So this week I was assigned to Haven 3. Haven 3 is a “hospice” haven where all the sick babies are. We have kids from a couple months old to 7 years old. And they have all different things such as failure to thrive, HIV, TB, club feet, and special needs. So Tuesday was my first day in Haven 3, and I shadowed an auntie named Georgina. I did everything with her starting with tea time in the morning, feeding the babies lunch, bath time, nap time, our lunch break, laundry, and more feeding and changing babies in the afternoon. She works in a room of 4 babies. One is Nelson who is a preemie, 2 months old, and weighs probably 4 pounds. Rodwell is probably a couple months old also and just can’t seem to gain weight. They don’t know what is wrong with him so they keep in the hospice haven just to monitor is feeding and health. There are 2 older babies, Petra and Candace. They are the sweetest little girls! So that was my job for the week; helping Georgina take care of these 4 sick babes.

I thought I knew was this job was going to be like. I have been here before. I spent every day for 3 months in the havens. And I especially spent time in Haven 3 because that’s where my baby Matt lived. But boy was I wrong. Last time I was here, I spent time in the Haven playing with my baby and that’s it. I didn’t take care of every little last detail that needed to be done. So this week came as a surprise to me. By the end of day 1, I was worn out and tired. I don’t know how the aunties do it. It’s nonstop all day every day. I guess it’s what being a mother is like, but for us it was a mother to 4 sick babies who needed some extra care and attention. I got to the haven, had my tea and roll for breakfast, fed the 4 babies and put them down for a nap, played with the older kids until my babies woke up, fed them lunch, bathed them, changed them, washed their nappies and clothes, fed them again, put them down for a nap, walked to Georgina’s village to eat lunch, walked back to the Haven, changed our babies, and put them down while we played and fed the older kids dinner. That’s what Georgina does every day. And her lunch break isn’t a relaxing break. It’s a 10 minute walk home, to bath and change her 3 kids, cook lunch for them and herself, and then walk back to the Havens. She’s always working and taking care of others.

It was a hard week if I’m going to be honest. I was the only “makua” (white person) in the Havens so I spent my day listening to people speak Tonga. I had never realized how hard it is to go all day without having a real conversation. I could talk to the aunties and to the babies, but it was very surface level. I don’t know that much Tonga and they don’t know that much English, so it was very basic. It was also hard because I didn’t want to step on the aunties’ toes, seem lazy, or be a bother to them. This is the job that they do every day, and I didn’t want them to think I was coming in to show them how to take care of the babies that they love. Sometimes I felt like I was unwanted and was doing the job wrong, but I know that they just love the babies and want what’s best for them. They were very patient with me while I learned to bath them, wash the laundry by hand, make their lunch, and so much more. I’m sure I didn’t do everything right, but no matter how annoyed they probably were they were very understanding and forgiving. And the week was hard because I was stuck comparing it to last time I was here. My last trip was very free; we could come and go from the Havens when we wanted, play with the kids we wanted, and be with 30 other friends. It was “fun.” And this week was “work.” It was my job to be at the haven at 9 in the morning and work until 18:00 when the babies where in bed and I could go home. It was my job to feed, change, bath, and work. I wasn’t just there to play. So this was hard to adjust to. I had to adjust my mind, my heart, and my attitude. At first, I wanted the “easy” life. I wanted to sit and hold a baby, feed one when I felt like it, and go home. I didn’t want to spend the day changing sick babies nappies, getting nsima thrown all over me, and doing the laundry by hand. I didn’t want to eat nsima for lunch; I wanted my yummy “normal” food. I didn’t want to be away from my friends all day long. But I quickly realized how stupid I was being and prayed for God to change my attitude. I was living a life that was helping me gain so much appreciation for what I do have. I was gaining appreciation for the work the aunties do. I was gaining appreciation for Meagan and this life that she chose. I was gaining appreciation for my God who has blessed me with a life that makes this one so far beyond our understanding that sometimes it’s hard to accept. The week was hard. Most nights I came home tired and annoyed. But it was a wonderful week. I learned to suck it up and do the dirty work. I learned how much of a servant heart it takes and how much faith it takes. I learned how to find joy in the little things. And I learned to thank God for the ability to love these messy, fussy, beautiful babies who just need someone to love them. The aunties give their lives to loving these babies, and now I get to do that too for 7 weeks.