If This Is All That We Have

Well this is going to be a long and full blog post because so much has happened this week! So enjoy it if you want, but I’m ok with knowing my dad might be the only one to read this ;)

Last time I was here we had a night guard named Webster who is an angel. Seriously, Kelly and I were talking about how he’s probably a literal angel. He’s just an incredible Godly man who loved us crazy American girls. With the house that he guarded (which wasn’t the one that I lived in) he prayed with them every night before they locked up. I was blessed enough to be there some nights and take part in those prayers. This man prayed like no one I have ever heard. He knew that when he was talking to our God, it was a real and intimate moment. He would start praying and by the end of the prayer he’d be on his knees, hands up, tears in his eyes…every time. So Kelly and I knew that Webster was one person we HAD to see when we got back here. So sure enough, our night guard Patrick said he would send Webster our way. Well Webster didn’t know why he was coming to Meagan’s house…he just knew someone needed to see him. When he saw Kelly and I standing in the door he literally went into shock. Men don’t touch women here; that’s just part of the culture. But Webster was so excited that he hugged us and picked us up and just started saying over and over again, “Thank you God! You’ve brought them back. The next time I thought I would see them was going to be in Heaven. Thank you God!” It was a moment I will never forget. When he finally stopped shaking and could answer our questions, we sat outside and caught up with him for a couple hours. So Sunday, we decided we were going to go to his village for church! We went to this church last time I was here, so it was fun to visit again. We went with Meagan, and we took a few of the ACU interns with us too. It was the typical African Sunday, and I loved every bit of it. We got there at 9, split boys and girls, and basically had a singing lesson with the song leader until everyone else decided to show up. Church started over an hour late. Weston, an ACU intern, preached because he was the visitor and that’s what you do. So of course we were visitors so we were the choir. We got up to sing, and instead we laughed the entire time. For some reason, we just couldn’t hold it together. It was pretty hysterical and embarrassing.  Then another choir sang and showed us up. As church ended we made a line out the door and greeted every single person at the church. The children loved us and wanted to touch our skin and hair and sing songs with us. And then Webster cooked us lunch in his sweet little house! His wife was out of town so he cooked us lunch, and he spoiled us with rice and sweet potatoes! That is so unlike the normal meal of nsima and rape that you have for every meal here. Webster cares about us so so much that he was willing to make the expensive stuff for us. He is such a servant and an angel, like I said. Getting to visit his church and have lunch in his home was such a sweet sweet treat.

Monday, we went with Meagan to villages to visit babies who have recently gone home from the Havens. She warned us that this would be a long day of goose hunts and not finding who we planned to find, but we had no idea what this day would have in store for us. We had 5 children/families that we planned to find, and somehow we found them all. God led us to each and every one. But it was quite the journey. Our trip was a 12 hour trip that mostly consisted of driving through the Zambian bush down tiny little “roads” asking people if they know a grandma named this or a blind man named this or a man that we don’t have a name for but that has a 2 year old daughter who used to live at the Havens. As you can see, we didn’t have much information except some names and the place that these families supposedly lived. We would find someone who would know the person we were trying to find, and they would give us directions in terms of past that tree and down that side and by that tuck shop and things that just meant nothing to us. Somehow we would end up pulling into a small village where one of Meagan’s babies would be waiting for her! Some were excited to see her and some were scared and sad. But all remembered her and loved her. We saw Catherine who is now 5 and sassy and funny and very well loved and taken care of by her aunt. We saw Leah who is precious and beautiful and has a grandma who loves her so so much. We saw Nico who just left the day we got here; she has a grandma who loves her SO much and is doing so well adjusting to her new life! The visit to her village was so humbling. This family welcomed us in, served us chibwanta (which is a drink that is so hard to drink, but is a very expensive delicacy here), and sent us home with ground nuts, bananas, and even a live chicken. I was in tear watching her give this to Meagan while telling her there isn’t anything she can do to thank her enough for taking care of this precious girl. This grandma gave Meagan a large part of her possessions because that was the only way she could say thank you. She sacrificed her finest things. Seeing children go home to places like that is such wonderful thing, because after loving these kids, all I want is for them to go back home to a family that loves and takes care of them. We saw Kurt and Jesse who are the third and fourth children in this family. The second one also lived at the havens and the fifth one, Leandrea, is here now. They have a family that loves them so much, but both of the parents are blind so that’s why they have been bringing their kids to the Havens.  Seeing their home was a great and sad experience at the same time. They obviously went back to a very loving family, but they went back to a home that doesn’t have a door or full walls; they go to bed freezing every night. There are 6 of them and their whole house is smaller than my room in Abilene. I was so struck by this scene while I was there; Kurt and Jesse and their 2 older brothers live in this tiny home and basically take care of themselves and their parents, but they are so happy and healthy. They have everything they need; a loving family and a loving Jesus.  The other baby that we saw was Caleb. He was here when I was here last time, and he has 2 clubbed feet. Going to his village was a hard reality; obviously it would be very expensive to properly care for his feet. His grandma and the rest of the family that he lives with doesn’t have that money, so they were begging Meagan to take him back with her. They were willing to send him off right there on the spot with us. I just can’t imagine; this sweet beautiful boy has no one who wants him. He’s a child who is suffering from disabilities, and he’s just being passed around and sent away by his own family members. There shouldn’t be a child on this planet that doesn’t have a family member or friend who wants them. That’s so heartbreaking and so unfair. So pray for Caleb and his family and for Meagan as they decide what to do and what is best for his future. So Monday was a full day; I came home with a heavy heart, a happy heart, an angry heart, and a joyful heart. That day was full of laughter and adventures and exciting situations, but it was also full of tears and anger and realities that shouldn’t be realities. It was full of situations that made me praise God and thank him, and it was full of situations that made me question God’s love for his children. At the end of the day, I was thankful for the truth that this world is not our home.

So now it’s Thursday night and I just got home from spending the past 2 days living in the village with one of the aunties, Violet. Here’s what that looked like: Violet works the night shift at the Havens so Wednesday morning at 7:00 when she got off of work, Kelly and I walked home with her. We got to her little village and went inside her home that has no electricity and no running water. When you opened the door, you were standing in a room that was probably 6 feet by 4 feet. There were 2 chairs, a couch, a table, and a shelf all inside that room. She then pulled back a curtain and we walked into the bedroom, which was probably 10 feet by 10 feet. It had a bed inside and all of their clothes hanging on the wall. This was their house. They had a hut outside that was the kitchen and a fire always going where they cooked their food and warmed their water for bathing. Her and her 2 daughters and 1 niece lived here, and this is where Kelly and I were staying! So she dropped us off at her house and told us she was walking to town. She doesn’t understand much English, so we tried to convince her to take us with her, but after that didn’t work we ended up being left in the village. Thankfully, her daughters Iris and Trevir were there to help us not be totally clueless. Iris and her cousin Sylvia cooked us tea and rolls for breakfast. They used their fine china and laid a straw mat outside for us to sit on. We sat out there, enjoyed breakfast, talked with the girls as much as we could, and read for a little while. That took up an hour or so, so after that we helped Iris fetch water from the well and wash the dishes. We finished that and sat around some more. The straw mat just stayed outside so we could sit out there and do whatever needed to be done. Iris was washing the bed sheets and curtains so we helped her with that. Once we got those hung up on the line to dry, we then had more time to just sit. Then it was time to start making lunch. So Iris taught us how to cut cabbage and rape and tomatoes; I say “taught” not because I’m incapable of cutting vegetables, but because they have their own way of doing it and they have it down to an art. We definitely were not good at this, and I’m pretty sure they went back and fixed everything we cut. After cutting vegetables, Iris and Trevir took us on a walk. We walked down a path for about 10 minutes before turning around and walking back. After getting back and sitting more for a while, it was time for us to bath. This took place in their “bathroom” that was behind the house. The bathroom is a straw fence that closes in an area where you bath and go to the bathroom. It’s all together, which isn’t very clean but that’s just how it works here. So we bathed by pouring some water on us and wiping down with a rag. I don’t know how clean we got, but it did feel refreshing. Violet got back from town and started making nsima for lunch. Nsima is maize (cornmeal) and water cooked over the fire, so as you can imagine, it’s not the most tasty thing ever. But they eat it for every meal. So lunch was ready and we had nsima and rape and cabbage. After lunch, we helped wash the dishes again. And then we moved the straw mat under the tree and spend the afternoon there. Kelly and I painted lots of finger nails and toe nails, and in return they did our hair. We ended up with some great hairdo’s. It was a fun afternoon with Violet, her family, and the neighbors who randomly stopped by! We took a nap at some point in the afternoon, and then woke up and started making dinner. This was nsima again, but this time we had chicken and relish (sauce) with the nsima and rape. It was so good! It gets dark early here, so we ate dinner by the fire so we could see and so we weren’t freezing. At 19:00 (7:00 pm) it was dark and we were done with dinner, so Violet went to sleep (it was her night off). We obviously weren’t tired so we stayed around the fire and sang some songs with the kids and neighbors. We taught English songs and they taught Tonga songs, and it was just a peaceful time. We all prayed together before we went to bed, which was really neat. Kelly and I prayed in English and Iris, Sylvia, and Trevir prayed in Tonga. I was sitting in a small village in Zambia under the most beautiful starry sky, praying to God in multiple languages. It was a special moment. So at 20:00 (8:00 pm) Kelly and I got in bed. They gave us the one bed that was in the house. Violet and Trevir slept on the floor next to us, while Iris and Sylvia slept on the floor in the other room. To have room enough to sleep on the floor they literally moved all of the furniture outside for the night; that’s how small this home was. So Kelly and I felt really blessed to be sleeping on a warm bed while the 4 family members were sleeping on the floor. However, since it was only 20:00, we weren’t tired at all. We might have watched a movie on her iPod while waiting for time to pass. I think I eventually fell asleep, but woke up off and on throughout the night because they keep their battery operated radio blaring and their battery operated light on at all times. I also kept waking up because poor Kelly was sick and had to go outside multiple times throughout the night. Now being sick at home isn’t so bad, but it’s pretty rough here when you have to go out into the pitch black and use a latrine that isn’t a hole in the ground or anything; just some rocks that you know you have to bath on in the morning. So at 5 oclock this morning, the family woke up and got ready for the day. They were sweet and didn’t wake us up, so Kelly and I got out of bed at 8:00. They had tea and rolls made for us again, and this morning they also made porridge (more cornmeal and water)! Did I mention it’s rude to not eat all of the food they give you? So no matter how tired you are of eating the same bland thing over and over again, you cant quit; you have to eat it all. So we ate breakfast, did the dishes, sat under the tree and played with the kids and neighbors, took another walk, bathed, ate nsima and rape for lunch, did the dishes again, sat under the tree and taught the girls Go Fish, got our hair done again, sat some more, and cleaned up the house. This is what village life consisted of. And while it’s so simple and relaxing and fun, it’s tiring and busy. I came home tonight sunburned, sore, tired, and dirty. I came home with new friends and a new family, and I came home with a much deeper bond with Kelly. My time spent in the village was eye opening in many ways. Iris is 16, so Kelly and I just kept talking about how different life for a 16 year old is here than it is in America. This family was so selfless by having us into their home and treating us so graciously. They don’t have much, yet they were willing to share it all with us. I got home and was grateful for the chocolate chip pancakes I made for dinner, the electricity, the warm bath I just took, and the comfortable bed I’m sitting on. 

So after this week, I have learned a lot and have been humbled. I didn’t spend this week in the Havens; I spent it in Zambia. I saw life the way it is really lived in Zambia. I saw the good things and the bad things. I saw reality. And reality anywhere is hard; I’m aware of that. Reality in America can be harder than reality here. But my heart ached. Not because Violet and her family have very little compared to me and not because Caleb is a perfect special child who isn’t wanted and not because Kurt and Jesse are children who have 2 blind parents and an incomplete home to live in. My heart ached because I saw all of these things and thought, “They would be so much happier if they lived like I live. Why can’t everyone have a life full of abundance and materials and comfort? It’s not fair that I have 2 big houses while these people have a small house with no water or electricity. They would love life if they lived in America.” That’s what I thought. My heart ached at my own thoughts. Because I saw these people and thought they should be more like me if they want to be happy. And then I was sitting under the stars, around a fire, singing worship songs with Trevir and Iris and the little neighbor kids and I remembered something that my roommate’s dad, Mr. Huddleston, said during a prayer one time in my house in Abilene. He said “If this is all that we have, it’s so much more than we need.” That phrase stuck with me and popped into my head last night. We were sitting outside of a small, cold hut with people who don’t speak the same language as us and who live a very different life than us. I was stuck in the mindset of feeling sorry for them because they don’t have as much as me. And then I was quietly reminded that even this is more than we need; relationships, beautiful creation, and a Father who loves each and every one of us. We don’t need materials and comfort and abundance of needs to be happy. We don’t need money and hospitals and plasters on our disabled feet. We don’t even need walls on our house. We have more than we need when we have a Savior whose love is enough. Who I am to think that people need to be like me to be happy? I was tempted to feel sorry for these people all week because they didn’t have what I have. I was sad and angry and upset for them. But then I was reminded that we don’t have to be sad because this world is not our home. We are headed for something so much more grand and glorious than this. What we have now won’t matter in eternity. We’ll be sitting around a fire under the stars worshiping with God himself. My favorite song has always been “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace.” This week was definitely one of those times when those lyrics rang out so much truth. Whether I’m in Abilene with abundance of comfort or in a Zambian village with little, I have more than I need because I have claimed Jesus as my savior and live by his glory and grace.